I recall that the self-cleaning public toilets in Seattle were installed shortly after I left; somewhere I have a picture of myself looking like a jackass in the one on the south side of Broadway near SCCC, but I can’t seem to find it right now. I remember first noticing that particular one on one of my first visits back after I moved, after DB pointed it out and noted that private restrooms for shooting up your gear were being put in a few places around town. (Me: “What’s that?” DB: “It’s a bathroom to shoot up in!”)
Later on that same trip — actually, it might have been just then, as we were passing by — we see someone stumbling down the street near the toilet looking super fucked up. Like, listing to one side, then sorta staggering forward two steps before losing balance and falling one step back. You know the look. Anyway, I kid you not… We sat there and watched this kid sorta wobble for a second, pass out, fall over straight backwards, and smack the back of his head on the concrete. Hard. Thankfully, it being early in the evening, there were a ton of people out and a bunch of them dutifully called 911 for the guy.
Not unlike taking the unreasonable position that you can have fully enclosed bathrooms with flat, mirrored toilet paper covers in your club or restaurant and people won’t use them to do blow in, I don’t think anyone (at least no one I knew) expected these self-cleaning, inside-locking junkie boxes to do a lot of good in the “man on the street simply has to pee” department.
Unsurprising, then, that apparently this little experiment aimed (ostensibly) at improving public hygiene has now come to an end, and, in typical Seattle fashion, they’ve managed to spend $5 million on the whole debacle. And as an aside, I love how, in many of the Google results I’m getting, they’re described as “Seattle’s troubled toilets.” The one pictured here, near Victor Steinbrueck park about three blocks from my old apartment on Western Avenue, is in the most crackhead park in all of Seattle. I mean … Duh, guys.
Anyone used one of these things here in New York yet? I thought not. I’ll bet the one in Madison Square Park smells great, though, given its proximity to Shake Shack. MM…
